Sexuality As Barter: Not A Good Idea

by Sunna

Ladies, I propose …

That next time you have a chance to get laid (especially after you haven’t been laid for a while) by an attractive guy and the atmosphere is good and you are horny… then DO IT. Stop thinking you have to first find out “where this all is going”.

In general, if you want to have a fulfilled sex life, it is advisable to give yourself when you feel you want to and not hold yourself back. Give yourself as a gift, without ever asking for anything in return (spoken or unspoken). There is nothing sexier for a guy than a strong woman expressing what she wants. If a guy gets frightened when you are yourself and ends up running away – – you are much better off. The ones running away from authentic self-expression are, in my experience, not the guys you want to spend much time with, especially not “the rest of your life”.

read more of Sunna’s sound advice here

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Ultra-Self-Responsibility – The Only Way Open Relationships Can Work.

by Ravi
Here’s the premise: Your partner, with whom you are direct, loving and  honest, is “with” someone else tonight. You discussed it, you both agreed to go with it. So, she/he left at 7pm – it’s 10:30 now. You are watching (trying to watch) a movie. Your 3 year old is tucked in sleeping soundly. With the movie on mute, the house is quiet – so quiet you can hear your mind clicking over and over, trying to “decide” what to do with this. It’s the first time for you – but she/he has been there before – when YOU were out on a date.  She/he didn’t freak – was really cool – happy you had a good time, could talk about her/his fears.

But now in the same boat, you are on the verge of panic. What do you do?

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Sexually & Emotionally Open Relationships: Boondoogle or Bliss….?

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Mention “open relationships” to most anyone who you try to initiate this subject with, and holographic images instantly start to spin around the conversation, full-color, dense, almost tangible scenarios of sexually-charged content.

Those things I can see you’re thinking,” you want to say, swatting at the steamy scenes buzzing like a persistent horsefly, “well, that’s more about swinging and sex than what I mean by open relating“.   But your words are already lost as you conversation partner has perceived they have become – intriguingly or scared-to-death – your sexual interest without you having any intention of the kind. If it’s not that – then the scenes are arising from their own repressed desires and un-fulfilled curiosities about partners – one or many – that they cannot possibly perceive they will ever experience.  With that realization, fear, resentment and despair cannot help but enter as they back off the conversation with a face full of mixed emotions.

Such is the state of broaching the “polyamory” subject with most folks – and it’s a sad statement about our increasingly distanced intimacy with one another in modern society- our inability to connect, discuss and share about things face-to-face  – intimate things we all think about but are too up tight with social politeness… or fear to put to words in sharing.

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